Tonight I am looking through an old hard drive of backpacking photos from 2014. This was after Ben passed away in Fall 2013 and before I got Beau a year later. So it was me on a backpacking trip with my three border collie girls: Mollie and Hayley and Maggie. The weather was mild and we camped above tree line in the alpine.

Looking at these photos makes me wish it was July and I could get ready to head up there right away. I have a definite craving to do it all again, up in the same spot. Since it's February, all I can do right now is to try to keep my back and legs strong and in shape so I can go up there next summer. I try to do that by carrying a weighted backpack once a week on a walk around the lakes on the Greenbelt

More journal notes:

8 February: I just met a couple here at the Rose that I used to see 20 years ago out dancing, when I first started going out after my divorce. They gave up drinking and just have water on their table. And they look totally different, so much better. I remember having a conversation years and years ago with them after I gave up drinking, and it seemed at the time that it was kind of registering in their thoughts. It's amazing how your health and also your looks improve, when you dry out. Plus you gain mental clarity.

I'm not having a low night like I thought I would,since it's only been 2 days from when I was here dancing last, until after midnight on Thursday. I'm covered in sweat from all the fast dances with beautiful ladies. The band is so good. (Martin and Kelly band at the Grizzly Rose)

5 February: Today there was a warm wind, and when I took the dogs for a walk just before noon it was almost 60 degrees. I walked down to the river where I turned west along it and eventually south up the hill and back east to home, which is our favorite loop. Along the way I go by river birch with dark brown bark, groves of grey Cottonwood trees, slender yellow willows, and blood red dogwood shrubs. At one spot I always let the borders off leash, and throw the ball for them, which they expect and look forward to.

Beau and Jess race each other to the ball, and Jess being two years old to Beau’s almost eleven, will usually get to it first. Sometimes I do a fake toss to get her moving, and then throw it closer to Beau so he gets a chance once in a while.

And that brings me to the reason I started writing all this down, something I observed in Jess that reveals so much about her disposition and the stage of life she is in now.

I threw the ball off the high trail. Both Beau and Jess raced down for it, and this time Jess overran it and Beau found it in the tall grass first. They both came running back up the steep slope to the trail. Jess was at maximum speed when she hit the crest of the hill, and just before she reached it she took a leap into the air and flew over the top, landing several feet beyond its summit. You should have seen the look in her eyes, of excitement and movement, of joy and energy.

It was priceless; something I want to remember about her.