silhouette of a dog sitting on a rocky outcrop with a large bare tree towering behind it against a light sky

two dogs standing in a leafy wooded area with bare trees and scattered green vegetation | Two large dogs walking together on a paved path next to a mossy stone wall and green grass on a cloudy day

6 March ~2012

I had been over to see Mom twice on February 1st, and went again as soon as I got the message from my sister that Mom had passed away, late in the evening.

I was glad I did, since Mom looked so much at peace. I clearly sensed something of spirit and release when I went into her room.

I talked to the staff for a while, and one of them remarked at how the outside window was opened a crack. She said it was a tradition to open the windows when someone died, so their spirit could be released.

She also commented about how the resident big grey cat had been staying near Mom's room the last day or so. I had noticed that myself the night before, when the kitty was lying down at the foot of Mom's bed while I was there.

I didn't feel like sleeping, and went home and picked up little Mollie, my border collie who loved Mom ever since she was a puppy. I drove downtown and Mollie and I walked the city streets until the early hours of the morning.

There are some times when it is just not right to be alone. I put Mollie into the truck and went into Denver's all night coffee shop (Leela's) to be around some kind strangers. I didn't talk much, but it felt better that someone might be there in case I needed to.

Mom had a hard time the last few months, and I suspect that what I felt that night was the freeing she experienced, in leaving behind the pain and difficulties of her physical life, rising to the goodness and perfection of her core spirit.

Mom and I were very good friends for many years. I told her about my backpack trips, and she often said she couldn't figure out what drew me up there, especially alone. I always told her that on solitary trips to the mountains there are no distractions. You see just how beautiful the trees are, how spiritual and mysterious the night is. You get to witness the miracle and peace of the blackness turning to light, the new day beginning with all its possibilities. I also told her that that I never felt alone up there, with these border collies who enjoy being in the mountains as much as I do.

You find out how much you loved someone when they are gone. During my backpack trip the next week I hoped that Mom was somehow nearby, and that she knew how much I missed her.

 

 

Snow-dusted forested mountain landscape with rocky peaks under a clear skyTwo border collies standing on snow-covered rocky terrain under a blue sky with scattered cloudsDark, dense clouds rolling over a silhouette of tall pine trees in a forestSunrise casting long shadows over a snow-covered forested landscape with tall pine trees and distant hillsSunlight casting long shadows of tall pine trees on a snowy forest floor under a clear blue skyTwo border collies standing on snow-covered rocks in a mountainous winter landscapeSmall tent pitched in a snowy clearing surrounded by pine trees with the sun low in the skysnow-covered forest area with evergreen trees and a fallen tree trunk across the snowA black and white border collie sniffing the snow near a small campfire burning brightly in a dark, snowy forestSilhouettes of tall pine trees against a darkening twilight sky with scattered clouds

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

An older person with gray hair bending down to gently hold the face of a black and white dog while looking at each other outdoors on a stone-lined sidewalkAn elderly woman sitting on a bench outdoors petting a black and white dog while a man next to her holds another black and white dog on his lap

Listen to 'Across The Great Divide by Nancy Griffith (written by Kate Wolf) - enter userid of 'music' and password of 'music2012' (lowercase, without quotations)